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Mark Watson: How You Can Almost Win

In 2017, Mark Watson - a man prone to considerable anxiety, with multiple phobias and a history of piss-poor self-esteem - was asked to go on Celebrity Island with Bear Grylls.

It really wasn’t for him at all because his favourite things include safety, comfort, food and not being scared and miserable. But the experience changed the shambolic comedian for the better, and now he's written a sort of motivational talk about what it taught him. But still with jokes.

WHY? 'Quite unlike anything else I’ve seen in almost 20 years of covering the Fringe... witty, warm, perfectly judged' ★★★★★ Telegraph

'This is a stand-up operating at the very top of his game' ★★★★ Independent

'He always displays an innate understanding of what the audience wants... creating a bespoke experience for every gig, an added flourish to a strong hour of stand-up' ★★★★ Chortle

'A quick-fire hour of fun' ★★★★ Metro

Age guidance 14+ years

Courtyard Theatre and Live Stream
£15
Booking cut off time: 7.30pm Thursday 22 October

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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Magical Bones: A Kind of Magic

Following a totally sold out run at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, the star of international stage hit Impossible takes to the road with his much-anticipated debut solo UK tour.

Direct from appearances on BBC1’s BAFTA Awards, ITV1’s This Morning and Sky’s Around The World In 80 Tricks, and his acclaimed London residency, join one of the most explosive names in street magic today as he effortlessly combines intricate sleight of hand with jaw dropping break-dance moves in one of the most awe-inspiring shows you’ll see this year.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

WHY? ‘What is happening on stage really is magic’ The Telegraph

‘Magical Bones performance is stunning’ Evening Standard

'Magical Bones boggled our minds' Official London Theatre

Courtyard Theatre and Livestream
£15
Booking cut off time: 7.30pm Fri 23 Oct

Presented by Broken Robot Productions.

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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The Brompton String Quartet

Presented by Maidenhead Music Society.

Liszt Angelus (Prière aux Anges gardiens)
Beethoven Quartet op 18 no 3
Karen Tanaka At the grave of Beethoven
Haydn Quartet op 76 no 4 Sunrise
Beethoven Quartet op 95

The Brompton string quartet are an excellent young group who met at the Royal College of Music. Last year they won first prize at the St Martin in the Fields Chamber Music competition, and all four are prize-winners as soloists. For local interest, their cellist is Wallis Power, niece of Lawrence Power.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Courtyard Theatre and Livestream
£15
Booking cut off time: 7pm on Thursday 29 October

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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John Lennon Tribute UK

Visualise a young Lennon and you have Gaz Keenan. Add a highly professional backing band and from the start you know this is a live music experience you won't forget.

The Lennon Retrospective is a two hour show that promises to take you on a journey through John Lennon’s popular back catalogue, serving up classic solos and Lennon penned early Beatles classics.

Fronted by Gaz Keenan, the band of professional musicians have played theatres countywide with the show, designed to offer an authentic Lennon experience.

A look alike and sound alike, Gaz featured in the ITV show The Big Audition which he went on to win. His ability to recreate John's soulful vocals alongside passionate guitar and piano work, is clear to see on stage. The show is stitched together with costume changes, uncanny mannerisms and caustic wit.

WHY? 'No-one can top Gaz who looks like Lennon in his early years' The Daily Express

Courtyard Theatre and Live Stream
£16
Booking cut off time: 7.30pm Sat 30 Oct

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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Spooky Sing Along Concertini with Mairi Cowieson and Rob Castell

Dig out your scariest outfits and join us for a spooky 45 minutes of music from stage and screen.

Featuring songs from The Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Little Shop of Horrors all performed by West End singer Mairi Cowieson and CBBC singer songwriter Rob Castell.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Age guidance: 0 - 8 years

WHY? 'I genuinely think the parents may have had more fun than the kids’ Michelle Cairncross, Little Ankle Biters Berks

'Our family love Concertini, we go there to enjoy the music and dance together as a family. Ingela, Concertini audience member

‘Fabulous music for adults that you can bring your little monsters along to without fear of being thrown out’ Audience member, Rock N Roll Concertini

Courtyard Theatre and Livestream
£11, £9 under 16s
Family & Friends (4 people) £36
Booking cut off time: 3.30pm Saturday 31 October

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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The Alter Eagles

The Alter Eagles are delighted to bring their two hour-plus tribute to one of the greatest bands of all time back to Norden Farm for the fourth year in a row.

Since they started in 2004, the six piece have built a reputation as one of the most faithful tributes around, ensuring that the audience enjoys a loving note-for-note recreation of songs like Hotel California, Lyin' Eyes, New Kid in Town, Take it Easy, Tequila Sunrise, Take it to the Limit and Life in the Fast Lane - as well as more recent Eagles' classics like How Long, Busy Being Fabulous and Long Road Out of Eden. There's even time for key Don Henley and Joe Walsh solo numbers like Dirty Laundry and the classic Rocky Mountain Way.

WHY? Expect rocking twin lead guitar breaks, sumptuous four part country harmonies and an attention to detail that's second to none

Courtyard Theatre and Live Stream
£18
Booking cut off time: 7.30pm Saturday 7 November

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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Alexander Ullmann (piano)

Winner of the 2017 International Franz Liszt Piano Competition in Utrecht.

Haydn Sonata in G, Hob XVI 40
Beethoven Sonata in C sharp minor, Op.27 No.2 (Moonlight)
Schubert/Liszt Ellens dritter Gesang, In der Ferne
Liszt Sonata in B minor

Alexander Ullman has appeared as soloist with major orchestras throughout the world. He has given recitals at the Wigmore Hall and Queen Elizabeth Hall, the Concertgebouw (Amsterdam), Gewandhaus (Leipzig), Kimmel Center (Philadelphia), Kennedy Center (Washington DC), Seoul Arts Center and the Shanghai Oriental Arts Center.

It is a pleasure to welcome him back to Norden Farm, where he played a Beethoven Concerto in 2016, before his appearance at Vienna’s Konzerthaus later in November. His programme range across three famous sonatas, and two of Liszt’s magical Schubert transcriptions.

Courtyard Theatre and Live Stream
£15
Booking cut off time: 7.30pm Thursday 12 November

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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Pete Churchill (vocals, piano)

An evening of Jazz, live from the Courtyard Stage and programmed by the late Pat Kelly.

Pete's innovative style and astonishing creativity always produces a performance with the wow factor. He is highly respected in his field as lecturer in Jazz Vocals and Choral Jazz at the Royal Academy of Music and Guildhall. Supported by Simon Allen (saxes), Andy Cleyndert (bass) and Clark Tracey (drums).

WHY? Pete has been accompanist to legendary jazz singer Mark Murphy and conductor of the Kenny Wheeler Big Band

Courtyard Theatre and Live Stream
£15


In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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The Vinyl Frontier: Electric Dreams

Hosted by Jeff Lloyd.

Electronic Pop Music has been part of our lives forever. Hasn't it? Join Jeff in a travel through time as he navigates through the history of the music and the acts that have shaped what we listen to today. In only 12 tracks, starting with 1963 and ending in 1999.

He's bound to leave something out so join him on this adventure and let him know what he should have played!

WHY? Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home

Courtyard Theatre and Livestream
£8
Booking cut off time: 7.30pm on Saturday 14 November


In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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Norden’s Ark Quiz (online)

In aid of the Norden’s Ark Appeal. Sign up for our fun-filled virtual quiz hosted by quizmaster extraordinaire and Norden Farm favourite Mr Jeffrey Lloyd!

We will be streaming the quiz on Zoom, so why not use this as an opportunity to make up a team of six with family, friends or work colleagues from around the UK and overseas.

Warning - we’ve structured the rounds to suit quizzers of all ages. Children may give adults a run for their money!

All ticket proceeds and donations on the night will go towards our Norden’s Ark Appeal to fund creation and delivery of arts entertainment and activities in live and digital formats for our audiences of all ages.

Live on Zoom
£5 per person or £30 for a team of 6
Booking cut off time: 6pm Wednesday 18 November

Takeaway offer - £10 meals: Book a takeaway meal at the same time as booking your tickets. Choose from gourmet Fish and Chips or 6oz Burger and Chips (vegan options are available). Once you have booked, please call the Cafe Bar on 01628 682566 to order your food and collection time.


Find out more about the ways you can support the Norden’s Ark Appeal here.

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Duchen & Lane

Presented by Maidenhead Music Society.

Jessica Duchen (author/narrator) and Piers Lane (piano) Present ‘Immortal’.

To celebrate the 250th anniversary of the birth of Beethoven we have invited Jessica Duchen to read extracts from her recent book Immortal , the mystery of Beethoven’s lost love whom he called Immortal Beloved. The readings will be interspersed with Beethoven piano music from Piers Lane, including the whole of his last piano sonata op 111.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Courtyard Theatre and Livestream
£15
Booking cut off time: Thursday 19 November 7pm

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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Impromptu Shakespeare

Bursting with love, poetry, comedy, tragedy, mistaken identity and everything in-between.

Impromptu Shakespeare brings you an entirely new and unique Shakespeare play inspired by audience suggestions to delight Shakespeare nerds and newbies alike.

Featuring a cast of leading theatrical and comedic improvisers, they've performed five critically acclaimed runs at the Edinburgh Fringe and two at the Bristol Shakespeare Festival.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

WHY? 'Sublime... side-splittingly hilarious' ★★★★★ Broadway Baby

'Chaotic, riotous fun' ★★★★★ PlaysToSee

'Ingenious and very funny' Will Gompertz, BBC Arts Editor

Courtyard Theatre and Livestream
£15 (£13 Supporters)
Booking cut off time: 7.30pm on Friday 20 November

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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Oldilocks and the 3 Bears

The first of three shows coming to the Norden Farm stage for Christmas 2020.

Oldilocks finds a teddy bear in the park and remembers a delicious bowl of porridge she tasted years ago in the woods. Something else happened but she can’t quite remember what… so she sets off for the forest.

Join Oldilocks as she sets off for another adventure followed by a scruffy old pigeon. Will she find the bears' house and what will happen then?

A wonderfully funny and warmhearted celebration of the classic story, starring a naughty old lady who looks very familiar… and 3 funny bears who love their breakfast.

Expect to be spellbound by lovingly crafted puppets, music and some steaming bowls of porridge!

The latest show from Garlic Theatre, who have previously brought Eggs on Legs, Three Billy Goats Gruff and Three Little Pig Tails to Norden Farm.

Age guidance 3+ years

Courtyard Theatre and Live Stream

Run time 50 minutes.

£13.50 | £11.50 under 16s
Family & Friends Ticket (4 people) £46

Livestream Ticket £15 per household

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Tickets can be purchased as unallocated and seats will be assigned before the event.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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The Annual General Meeting of The Norden Farm Centre Trust Limited

This year’s Annual General Meeting (AGM).

Check in is at 7pm and formal AGM proceedings will start at 7.30pm.

The Café Bar is open from 6.30pm and table service is available if you wish to order drinks or bar snacks (please note the kitchen will be closed).

There will be a live stream alternative for members who wish to attend the AGM virtually.

To attend either in person or via live stream, please book online here or call the Box Office on 01628 788997 (our opening hours are Wed – Fri 11am – 8pm and Sat 3pm – 8pm).

The Annual General Meeting is for Voting Members and Bronze, Silver and Gold Members.
You will not be charged the £1 booking fee.

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The Magic Porridge Pot and Other Tasty Tales

The second of three shows coming to the Norden Farm stage for Christmas 2020.

"You can’t catch me, You’re much too slow!
I like to run wherever I go"

Can YOU catch that slippery little biscuit, the Gingerbread Man? You’ll need a big bowl of porridge first to keep your energy up. Don’t worry if you haven’t had yours this morning, Granny Grinpickle’s Magic Porridge Pot has made enough for everyone!

These two tasty tales which you know so well are served with unexpected spices and quirky flavours, along with Widdershins’ trademark ingredients of puppets, pop-up sets and original music. Perfect fare for fussy foodies and discerning diners. Bon Appetit!

From Theatre of Widdershins, the company who have previously brought Rumpelstiltskin & The Snail of Destiny, Rapunzel & the Tower of Doom and The Elves & The Shoemaker to Norden Farm.

Age guidance 3+ years

Courtyard Theatre and Live Stream

Running time 50 mins.

£13.50 | £11.50 under 16s
Family & Friends Ticket (4 people) £46

Livestream Ticket £15 per household

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Tickets can be purchased as unallocated and seats will be assigned before the event.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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The Vinyl Frontier: My Favourite vs Your Favourite

Hosted by Jeff Lloyd.

Consistently said to be the best format of the Vinyl Frontier - seven challengers take on Jeff in a battle of taste. Is his taste better than yours? Last time he won 4-3 so the stakes are high. The audience votes for their favourite each time and there can only be one winner!

WHY? Bring your friends for a festive treat!

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home

Courtyard Theatre and Livestream
£8
Booking cut off time: 7.30pm on Thursday 17 December


In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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St John’s Chamber Players: Christmas Baroque

Last January, St John’s Ensemble gave the last of its nineteen New Year’s Day concerts – but the string players are reconvening for this special extra event to bring some Christmas cheer.

Bach Violin Concerto in A minor
Handel Pastoral Sinfonia from Messiah
Vivaldi Concerto in B minor for 4 violins
Bach Brandenburg Concerto No.3
Vivaldi Concerto in A minor for 2 violins
Telemann Suite in G Don Quixote
Bach Violin Concerto in E major

We are delighted that Jonathan Stone, stunning soloist in The Four Seasons two years ago, will join the ensemble. He plays both of Bach’s great violin concertos – and there are more popular concertos to enjoy too, as well as Telemann's witty take on Don Quixote. Nigel Wilkinson directs from the harpsichord.

Courtyard Theatre and Live Stream
£15
Booking cut off time: 7.30pm Saturday 19 December


In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Seat numbers are also subject to change.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.

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Pinocchio

The third in a series of three shows coming to the Norden Farm stage for Christmas 2020.

The objects of a carpenter’s workshop bring to life the tale of the puppet that wants to be a real boy, and the puppet-maker who wants to be a real father. A one man show starring Steve Tiplady, as Geppetto.

Pinocchio is carved on stage, brushes become a fox and the shadow of two saws transforms into a giant shark. An element of improvisation makes each performance unique to its audience.

Puppetry, shadows, illusion and especially composed music combine to create a show with something for all ages; it’s inventive, visually and verbally witty with a big heart.

'Wonderful work that celebrates the possibilities of theatre' Lyn Gardner, The Guardian

'Truly magical… captivating' The Scotsman

Age guidance 4+ years

Courtyard Theatre and Livestream

Run time 60 minutes.

£13.50 | £11.50 under 16s
Family & Friends Ticket (4 people) £46

Livestream Ticket £15 per household

In line with current government guidelines, this event has a reduced capacity with socially distanced seating. This is subject to change as we monitor government advice. Tickets can be purchased as unallocated and seats will be assigned before the event.

Online streaming tickets are also available for this event – so you can enjoy the show live from the comfort of your home.

Please prepare for your visit by reading our latest Visitor Information here. This includes important information about face coverings, social distancing and measures we have implemented to keep everyone safe when visiting Norden Farm.


Photography credit: Adam Crosthwaite

about 8 hours ago We are very excited to welcome comedian @JenBrister to our stage on Saturday 24 October. There are just a handful o… https://t.co/dePnKaflDl

1 day ago Concertini are back this half term with a special Spooky Sing Along event with Mairi Cowieson and Rob Castell! … https://t.co/FA4rlzf1DF

1 day ago Missed Mark Watson's sold out gig with us last month? Mark will be returning to The Farm on Thursday 22 October wit… https://t.co/NrCMxE2FeS

2 days ago RT @watsoncomedian: ALSO. If you would like to see me do a show this week, there is a live stream of this one thanks to the ingenious peopl…

3 days ago Today we're launching our #NordensArkAppeal to raise a total of £50,000. These much-needed funds will help us to co… https://t.co/oT364l8pSA

4 days ago Join performer, magician & storyteller Patrick Ashe for online magic and storytelling fun at 3pm this Sun 18 Oct … https://t.co/9L9SW8isJm

4 days ago RT @johnlennonuk1: Tonights show at Leicester may have SOLD OUT but there's still 2 chances to help us do our bit to #SaveTheArts & bring y…

6 days ago 'Supremely ambitious race against time makes for superb cinema' ★★★★★ The Guardian Catch screenings of Christopher… https://t.co/CWYKIskcxL

6 days ago RT @MaidenheadAds: [email protected] receives £351,000 grant but venue is not 'out of the woods yet' https://t.co/nAuYFYosy5

6 days ago RT @ImpatientUK: MARK WATSON ON YOUR SCREEN ALERT One week left to get tickets for @watsoncomedian on your telly-substitute device of ch…

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